Introduction to Human Ecology
by canadianiana
Summary: Posted for the M&M Valentine's Day exchange. The group deals with being around Jeff and Annie in their honeymoon phase. Fluff!


It doesn't take much.

It all starts because of a coincidence, really. It just so happens that on the same weekend Troy and Abed are out of town for an _Inspector Spacetime _convention, Britta decides to start an Occupy Greendale movement (not because she cares so much about going back to school, but because it's NOT RIGHT for a tiny, arbitrary group of people - Greendale's board of directors - to hold so much power over such a large body of hard working students who are just trying to make it through their degrees!). Oddly enough, Shirley is also away, taking advantage of the time off to take a trip with her family, and nobody has heard from Pierce for a few weeks; in order to achieve the next level of "enlightenment" in his "Buddhism" he has taken a vow of silence.

(They tried, at first, to tolerate having Pierce around without talking, but his hand gestures were just ALWAYS obscene, no matter how you interpreted them. Then they tried having Pierce write, but he couldn't resist literally illustrating his points, and that was even worse.)

And so it is that Annie and Jeff find themselves the only two around one Friday night, each sitting at home alone, with nothing to do.

Annie is relieved to hear her phone ring, and surprised (and, as always, happy) to see who it is. "Hey, Jeff."

"Hey. I never thought I'd say this, and it's probably a sign of the apocalypse, and if you tell anyone, I'll deny it, but... I might actually miss Greendale."

Annie can't help but smile. "Awww... you must be really bored."

"YES, how did you know?"

"Because I am too," she says with a sigh. "I thought I would enjoy having some time to myself, but I guess I got used to Troy and Abed being around. It's SO QUIET here without them. At least when I was living alone I had homework to keep me busy."

"If nothing else, Greendale was never boring."

"Exactly. Wait, what are you doing home? I thought you'd be going out somewhere tonight."

It gives Jeff pause, but only for a second. "I'm avoiding Alan," he tells her, which is mostly true. "He keeps inviting me out, and I've been seeing more than enough of him working at the office."

Annie giggles.

"What?"

"Nothing!" she says quickly.

"Pfft, _nothing_. I know that giggle."

"It's just kinda cute."

Jeff narrows his eyes. "What is?"

"Alan's crush on you."

"WHAT? He doesn't have a crush on me."

"I hate to break it to you, Jeff, but he totally does. How many times has he asked you out since we've been on break?"

"_Invited_ me out," he corrects her. "Not-"

"How many?" Annie sing-songs at him.

Jeff reluctantly thinks back. He HAS heard from Alan at least every Friday night, including tonight, and most Saturday nights, and... dammit, she might be onto something. "Not that many," he lies.

"So... a LOT," she laughs.

Jeff is in the middle of forming a retort when he hears a knock. "Hold on a sec, there's somebody at my door."

"Ooh!" Annie exclaims, gasping excitedly. "I bet you ten bucks it's Alan!"

She probably just means it as a figure of speech, but she sounds so damn sure of herself (and is enjoying the prospect of this "crush" far too much) that he takes the bet. "You know what? You're on," he says.

Which is how Annie ends up opening her door fifteen minutes later to see Jeff, holding out a ten-dollar bill.

"Why, thank you!" she says, triumphantly taking it from him. "But you didn't have to deliver it right this second."

"Oh, you're stuck with me now," Jeff insists. "I told Alan I was just leaving to meet the group to try and get rid of him. He called me whipped, and then called all of you guys losers, and then asked if he could come."

She laughs and lets him in, excited to see him (and completely unaware that over the next few hours she would come to thoroughly understand the expression "one thing lead to another").

Annie gets him a beer - she has to dig to find a normal one; Troy and Abed have a habit of buying alcohol based on how funny the labels are - and pours herself a tiny glass of wine, having just started allowing herself the freedom to do so.

Jeff, meanwhile, is looking through Abed's DVD collection. "Thanks," he says, accepting the bottle from her. They stand next to each other for a minute, sipping their drinks and browsing. Then he turns to her. "All right, I want a chance to win my ten bucks back."

She gives him a curious look. "What did you have in mind?"

He nods toward the DVDs. "There's no way you've seen every one of these."

"I've seen most of them," she says cautiously, still not sure where he's going with this.

"I bet you ten bucks I can pick out five that you haven't."

Annie considers it, watching Jeff take a swig of his beer. He knows her pretty well, but she's definitely been watching more movies and TV shows since moving in, and he wouldn't have any way of knowing which ones. The odds are probably in her favor. He looks a little too sure of himself, though. "Seven," she counter-offers.

"Fine, but I get eight guesses."

"Deal."

They shake on it.

Annie tries to keep her expression neutral as Jeff reaches for DVDs, because he's carefully watching her face for anything that might tip him off. To make it easier on herself, she keeps her eyes on his, so she doesn't even see what he's pulling out until he finishes stacking them on up the dining room table.

The first one is _The Big Lebowski._ She sighs and takes it off the pile.

_A Clockwork Orange. _No, she'd never had the desire to see that one.

The one under that is _Monty Python and the Holy Grail._ She snatches it up. "Ha! I've seen this!"

Jeff curses silently, but quickly replaces it with another _Monty Python_ movie,_ Life of Brian_.

Annie tries to put on a formidable glare. "You got lucky."

He simply smiles at her the way he always does when she wants to be intimidating.

"You still have four left, and no more wrong guesses," she reminds him.

"Oh, I know."

"Well, you sure seem pretty confident, considering that- dammit!"

Jeff is holding up _Predator_, that damn smile still on his face. Then he shows her _Trainspotting_, and Annie crosses her arms, making his smile wider.

Annie turns back to the (now small) pile, and picks up the next one to look at it, because it's different from the others. "Is this... anime?"

Jeff nods, and Annie sees a hint of embarrassment flash across his face. "It's good," he says. "I think you'd like that one, actually, I'm surprised Abed hasn't shown it to you."

Annie looks down at it again. _Samurai Champloo_. It's a weird title. And everything else is in Japanese. And it's not at all something she'd expect Jeff to be a fan of. "What's it about?"

"Well, it's about a... teenage girl, who's looking for her father after she loses the rest of her family."

"Oh. It sounds sad."

He shrugs. "Parts of it are. But she kind of tricks these two trouble-making samurai guys," he points to the illustration on front, "into helping her. It's a good story. Plus," Jeff continues, taking a step closer. He pulls the box out of her hands and turns it over. "She has this little flying squirrel friend that tags along."

"Aww, it's so cute!"

"Yeah, I thought you'd like that. A lot of anime series like this one have animals in them, I don't know why."

Jeff is standing so close to her that Annie almost forgets there's one DVD left. She glances down to see what it is: _Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil_. She taps her finger against it. "Hmm."

He looks at her curiously. "What?"

"Well, I've read the book. But I haven't seen the movie, so I SUPPOSE..." she says with exaggerated resignation, "...you win." Annie pulls the $10 out of her pocket to give it back to him, but he waves her off.

"Nah, keep it."

"Why? Technically, you're right."

"Yeah, but the book was better."

Annie smiles as they put the movies back in their proper places, leaving out _Samurai Champloo_ so they can watch it. She doesn't mind the subtitles at all and quickly gets into the story, which is actually a complex tale of three strangers named Fuu, Mugen, and Jin, who are forced together by circumstance. Plus, you know, swords and action and love and betrayal and revenge. And a really cute flying squirrel.

(She also enjoys the main female character, Fuu, who is young, but tenacious, and often mistaken for being naïve, but able to take care of herself. Fuu is also impassioned and outspoken, and as much Mugen and Jin complain about having her around, Annie can already see them forming a bond.)

Jeff and Annie don't get drunk, but they do get the tiniest bit buzzed, which leads to them sitting in closer proximity than they might otherwise.

And really, that's all it takes.

They're actually kind of sprawled on the floor lying next to each other, because Annie always feels weird stealing Troy and Abed's lounge chairs. Jeff watches her out of the corner of his eye for the first little while, oddly anxious to see her reaction to the show. When he sees how much she's enjoying it, though, he relaxes. And moves even closer to her (although he's not aware of that).

Annie braces a hand on his chest during a particularly suspenseful scene, and he immediately responds by putting his arm around her.

They argue, later, about who kisses who first, but eventually come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter.

It just happens; one minute they're watching animated samurais duel it out, and the next minute, his lips are crushed against hers. The kiss quickly turns into making out as she opens her mouth and slides her tongue against his. This leads to searching hands, and fingers threading through hair, and sighs, and other involuntary noises, and fleeting thoughts that this shouldn't be happening, CAN'T be happening, and yet neither of them can stop it.

Annie is the one who starts feverishly undoing buttons, which leads to lips trailing over newly bared skin, and she gasps at the feel of Jeff's hands and mouth in places she rarely even lets herself fantasize about. She presses her body into his, needing more of him as her blood rushes and everything tingles at his touch.

Jeff can feel them spinning out of control as he pushes back and has a moment of panic when it hits him that it's ANNIE who's half-naked in his arms, and holy shit, he's not wearing a shirt, either, and how the hell did this happen anyway? But it's quickly washed away when Annie slides her hand down his stomach, past his belt, and doesn't flinch when she feels just how hard he is. He groans into her neck as she starts to rub her palm against him.

And then her jeans are undone, somehow, and his fingers find the already wet spot inside of them, and her breath hitches, and he makes a shuddering sound that might qualify as a whimper, which is SO not like him. But Annie certainly doesn't seem to mind as she works his belt and starts to breathe even faster.

And then his fingers slip under the soft cotton material, and her hips thrust against his hand, and she gasps his name, and Jeff stops thinking completely.

They never do make to the bedroom.

- — - — -

Well, okay, they DO, but not until much later. And only at Annie's insistence that they don't want to sleep on the floor. Jeff hands her his shirt while he sleepily pulls on his underwear, and then lets her lead them to her room. They collapse on the bed and Jeff looks down at his overhanging feet.

"Annie, I don't fit."

She scoots up further and drags him along, nudging him until he's diagonal across the bed, lying on his back. His feet just hit the end now. Annie curls up into his side.

He smiles down at her, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. "Always the problem-solver."

"Mmm. Tomorrow we'll have to go to your place."

"Mmm," he agrees.

It's funny, Jeff's never really been one to cuddle; his interest in touching the women he's slept with usually decreases after he's slept with them. And he's most definitely spent at the moment. But Annie is still mostly naked, and he can't stop his hands from gliding over the impossibly soft skin that's not at all hidden under his very loosely-fitting shirt. He closes his eyes.

Just before he falls asleep, he has the strange thought that he probably owes Alan a thank you.

- — - — -

When Jeff wakes up the next morning, it's because Annie is trailing kisses across his bare chest. He opens his eyes to see her straddling him, and grinning at him, and he kinda wants to start every morning this way.

And for Annie, starting off the day with having Jeff sleepily greet her with a huge smile and a mumbled, "Hey, gorgeous", ain't half bad neither.

They spend the rest of the weekend trying to finish watching _Samurai Champloo_, and getting distracted instead. Annie learns more about sex in those forty-eight hours that she has in the past five years, and Jeff can only thank whatever benevolent being, force in the universe, or random chance it is that has deemed him fit to be her teacher. She's an enthusiastic student, to say the very least, and, as Jeff should have expected, an incredibly quick learner.

They talk a lot too, but they never have The Talk. They don't need to. There's no way they could deny, or dismiss, or diminish what's going on between them, and no reason either of them would want to. The only time it comes up is when Annie offers to break the news to the group, and Jeff agrees that it's probably his best chance to avoid getting lynched.

They finally and reluctantly part on Sunday evening. Jeff drops Annie off at home a couple of hours before Troy and Abed are due back, because they don't want to cause any suspicion. Not yet.

He kisses her good bye and promises that tomorrow will be fine, and that he'll talk to her later. She smiles and nods; she doesn't want him to know that she wants him to stay, because they've spent all weekend together and surely he needs some time to himself.

Jeff leaves, but he wishes he hadn't. He starts texting her almost immediately. (**So, how was your weekend?**).

When Troy and Abed arrive home, Annie stays pretty quiet. Which isn't hard, because they had an awesome time at the convention, and have a million things to tell her, many of which go over her head. Only Abed catches the broad smile that flashes across Annie's face when he asks how her weekend was (it's the same smile that appears every time she looks down at her phone that evening), but she doesn't breathe a word of Jeff, so he doesn't know what it means.

- — - — -

On Monday, Annie invites the group over for lunch (including Pierce) and explains to them, in as little detail as possible, what happened with her and Jeff. They react with varying degrees of discomfort, surprise, disbelief, and crude drawings, struggling to be supportive. But Annie is adamant that this is what she wants, so they don't really have any other choice.

Britta asks them if they're going to be all lovey-dovey and couple-y around each other now, and they laugh it off, insisting that this won't change anything.

Okay, so Jeff pulls out Annie's chair for her, and kisses her hand, and calls her "Milady", but that's really nothing new.

- — - — -

By Tuesday, Britta has completely given up her little-noticed Occupation of Greendale, Pierce has admitted to breaking his vow of silence about twenty-seven times already, and Annie and Jeff are inseparable.

The whole group has started hanging out at Casa de Trobed more, and has begrudgingly accepted the new closeness that is Jeff + Annie. They always sit next to each other, and seem to be able to have whole conversations without saying a word. Jeff still throws out sarcastic comments, and Annie still constantly worries about the state of their stalled education, but they smile a LOT, especially at each other, and Jeff keeps whispering things in her ear that make her giggle.

They're still Jeff and Annie, and the group is still the group, but nobody can deny that something has shifted.

- — - — -

On Wednesday night, they say "I love you."

They're at Jeff's, and it's late, and they're lying on their sides in his bed, facing each other. Not unlike the position they were in when this whole thing started. His bed is infinitely more comfortable than Annie's floor was, though. Jeff has his arms around her, and she's tucked into his chest, her breath tickling his bare skin.

And it's funny, because Annie never figured Jeff would be one to, you know, _cuddle. _So she treasures these moments. (It's funny because she doesn't have to worry, there would be plenty of moments like these.) She probably wouldn't admit it out loud, but she loves the fact that he's so much bigger than her; lying together like this he can encompass her completely. It's these moments that make her feel the most important to him, and the most at home.

Jeff thinks she's asleep, so when he rests his hand on her cheek, he doesn't stifle the contented hum that has been dying to escape him.

"Mmm?" Annie asks.

He brushes him thumb across her cheekbone. "Mmm, what?"

"You made an _mmm_ sound," she says softly. "I was just wondering if it means anything."

He could lie, and say he doesn't know what she's talking about. After all, they've only been together for five days. But this has been on the tip of his tongue for the past four. He's almost blurted it out a few times already. "Well, I'm pretty sure it means I love you."

Annie smiles and tilts her head, pressing a kiss into his neck with a happy sigh. "Mmmm."

- — - — -

On Thursday afternoon, everyone is at Annie, Troy, and Abed's place, except for Jeff. He's been stuck working all day, having to pick up the slack after Alan managed to offend the administrative assistant who started there three days ago. Annie has been silently helping Shirley bake a two-tiered cake for Jordan's brithday; there's no place for Shirley to hide it in her house that the boys won't find. Although Annie is unusually quiet and subdued, everyone tries not to think too much about it.

But then they get the news that Greendale will be opening again the following Monday, in the form of a mass(ively inappropriate) email from Dean Pelton. ("It's been hard work, and I took quite a pounding from the board of directors, but I was able to swallow my pride and get myself into a position with much better leverage. Come one, come all to celebrate our return to the warm embrace of knowledge!")

"Oh, that's nice!" Shirley coos.

Troy and Abed do their signature high five.

Britta tries to convince Pierce that her protest totally had something to do with this.

Pierce makes the sudden decision to attempt his vow of silence again. For real, this time.

But Annie just... kind of smiles.

And that's REALLY weird to everyone.

It's not until Jeff arrives a few hours later that she lights up and turns back into the perky, school-obsessed Annie that they've come to know. She quite literally runs to greet him at the door and jumps into his arms, squealing into his ear about Greendale at a rate he can't possibly process.

Jeff beams at her, and only manages to get her to stop talking by kissing her deeply.

Shirley watches them out of the corner of her eye with a frown. She's happy that Annie's happy, and Anne is very obviously happy, but this is not an appropriate display for a young, respectable woman. Making out with an older man while her legs are wrapped around his waist... even if that man happens to be her boyfriend.

They've never SAID that he's her boyfriend, but just look at them. It's hard for the group not to, because they're always like that, and they're. Always. Together.

- — - — -

By Friday, the group is losing their patience. They're at Shirley's, setting up for Jordan's surprise party. And while the rest of them are all sitting in the living room blowing up balloons and discussing the imminent return to school, Jeff and Annie are in their own little world.

Well, they're in the room too, but they might as well not be. They're completely involved in their own hushed conversation, not even bothering to so much as glance at the rest of the group.

Shirley grows quickly tried of seeing Jeff's hands brush over places they really shouldn't be, certainly not in public. It's shameful. Then Annie is in the middle of blowing up a balloon when he calls her a cute chipmunk, and pokes her puffed-out cheeks. She laughs, causing the balloon to explosively deflate, fly across the room, and smack Shirley in the face.

Annie gasps and clamps a hand over her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Shirley!"

Shirley gets that scary _don't-mess-with-me_ look on her face, but she's smiling, which is even scarier. "That's all right, it was an accident." Her voice is sickly sweet. "But maybe you two could do me a favor, and go pick up the rest of the party supplies."

"Umm, sure," Annie says, getting up and warily taking the list that Shirley is holding out to her.

Jeff stands as well, and then for absolutely no reason - well, other than the fact that it makes her shriek with laughter - he sweeps Annie off her feet, throws her over his shoulder like a fireman, and carries her out of the room. "We'll be back!"

As soon as they hear the door slam, there's a collective exasperated sigh.

"Okay, PLEASE tell me someone else feels like one GIANT third wheel around them now," Britta begs the room.

"More like third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh wheels," Troy replies. "Actually, we're like wheels on a boat. We're not just useless, we don't even belong here."

"Right, uh, exactly! They've been insufferable to be around. Right?"

Everyone grumbles in agreement.

Britta points to where they were sitting. "The worst part is that STUPID Milady/Milord thing."

Troy narrows his eyes at her. "How is THAT the worst part?"

"It's degrading! Not only does it reinforce traditional gender roles, but it comes from a time when women were completely subjective to men, I mean, is that what Annie wants? Ugh, and she looks so giddy every time he kisses her hand that I just want to-" Britta cuts herself off when she sees the expression on everyone's faces. "Um, tell them to... you know... stop. Doing it."

"That is definitely not the worst part," Troy argues. "The worst part is the fact that they text each other CONSTANTLY. It's like Jeff is always around, and even when he's not around, he's around. Hell, she texts him even when he IS around."

Abed is nodding. "They've definitely changed the group dynamic. It might not be as noticeable with us out of school and out of our regular routine, but they're not as involved in the group as they were before."

"Not noticeable?" Shirley scoffs. "I wish I hadn't noticed his tongue down her throat. Now THAT is the worst part, their obscene little public displays. A young woman like Annie just throwing herself at a man like Jeff, it's just not right."

"Oh please, that's not obscene, it's depressing. Now that Jeff has a ball and chain attached, I've lost my wingman!"

Britta rolls her eyes. "Jeff was never your wingman, Pierce."

"Well, he could've been! That's the real tragedy, here!"

Britta thoughtfully regards everyone for a minute. "So..." she starts, choosing her words carefully. "What are we gonna do about it?"

They all stop what they're doing and look up at her.

"About what?" Shirley asks.

She shrugs. "Them. And their vomit-inducing cuteness."

Troy raises his eyebrows. "What do you mean, like, break them up? That seems mean."

"No, no, not break them up. They just need to..." but she doesn't know, so Britta trails off.

"Have a fight," Abed finishes for her.

"Yes! Yes, they need to have a fight, so they can get out of this ridiculous honeymoon phase crap, and we can go back to not wanting to murder them."

As far as Britta's ideas go, it's not the worst one she's had. But Troy looks confused. "Okay, how are we going to do anything about that?"

"Well... we can just start a fight between them."

"You missed the HOW part of my question. And that was the only part of my question, so that's kinda impressive."

Britta sighs. "I don't KNOW, Troy, okay? But it can't be THAT hard. I mean, Jeff's not exactly the boyfriend type."

"Up until now, I would have agreed with you, Britta," Abed says thoughtfully. "But he's different with Annie. They've barely been apart this entire week."

Her eyes suddenly widen as she gasps dramatically and clutches Troy's arm. "That's it! I've got it! They've just got to get sick of each other! I mean, anyone who spends that much time around anyone is going to get sick of them eventually, right? We just have to speed it up a bit."

"Am I talking out loud?" Troy asks. "I really thought I was... HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO THAT?"

"Look, Jeff's not the boyfriend type, but Annie IS the girlfriend type. So I'll just... tell her that Jeff actually LIKES girls to be clingy, and couple-y, he just won't admit to it. If we can convince her to be even MORE in his space than she is now, he'll definitely need to back off."

The group considers her plan.

"That means you're going to lie to Annie," Shirley points out, a little sadly.

"Not lie, just... yeah, okay, I'm going to lie to her, Shirley. Does anyone else have an idea?"

Nobody does at the moment, so they agree to let Britta try it.

She attempts to put her plan into action several times over the course of the evening. Jordan's surprise party is fun, but busy, and even with the group knowing what Britta is trying to do, it's difficult to find Annie alone. She's almost always surrounded by Jeff, André, Jordan, Elijah, or baby Ben.

(Out of the corner of her eye, Britta sees Jeff watching Annie play with the baby. But she staunchly refuses to acknowledge the schmoopy look on his face.)

She finally manages to pull Annie aside when Jeff is busy playing Super Mario Bros Wii with Jordan, Elijah, and Abed. Deception is certainly not Britta's strong suit, but she thinks she does a pretty good job of fooling Annie, under the pretense of asking how things are going with her and Jeff. Britta offers her "advice" ("Oh yeah, he'd never admit it, but he's a huge sap. And he just likes to pretend to be all self-reliant and the lone wolf type, but he REALLY likes to be taken care of."), and feels slightly guilty when Annie sincerely thanks her. The guilt doesn't last long though, as she watches Annie bounce away to fetch Jeff a drink without him even asking for one, and then hand it to him with a "Milord." Jeff replies with a "thank you, Milady," and ugh, seriously, that needs to stop.

Then she watches as Jeff offers her his spot on the couch, and Annie refuses, opting to settle between his feet on the floor instead. He hands her his Wii controller and she happily takes over playing for him. Jeff leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and starts gently twisting her hair through his fingers.

Okay, so maybe they're kind of cute together. But it's like, nauseatingly cute. Britta is fairly confident that the weekend will bring their first fight, and that by Monday things will be somewhat back to normal.

- — - — -

Early Monday morning, the group - minus Jeff and Annie - meet in the cafeteria to touch base. Britta grabs herself a coffee before settling at the table with them.

"Okay, so how did the weekend go?"

Abed just shakes his head. "We don't know."

"What? How could you not know?"

"She spent the ENTIRE weekend at Jeff's," Troy says. "I told you that yesterday."

"Yeah, but what about last night? Did she say anything when she came home?"

Abed and Troy exchange a knowing look.

"She didn't come home," Abed informs her.

Britta stares at him. "She didn't come home?"

Abed shakes his head.

"She didn't come home, on a SCHOOL night? Not even just any old school night, but the night before we go back to classes after being off for almost TWO MONTHS?" she asks, incredulous.

Troy shakes his head.

"That is really unlike Annie," Shirley observes.

"Yep, you've definitely Brittled this one."

"Ugh, Pierce! It's _Britta'd_, not- why am I correcting him?" Britta asks herself. "Okay, this doesn't mean anything. They've been in each other's presence for like... seventy-two hours straight now, and Annie totally believed me when I told her Jeff likes all that cuddly schmaltzy crap. There's NO WAY they didn't get on each other's nerves."

"Umm... are you sure about that?" Troy asks, pointing behind her.

Britta turns to see Jeff and Annie just coming into the cafeteria. She's latched onto his arm, laughing so hard that she's almost doubled over, and he's looking down at her, smiling affectionately while telling his (apparently funny) story. They pass by where the group is sitting, but don't notice them. Actually, they barely take their eyes off each other while Jeff buys them coffee, and they pass by the group again to find seats.

"Okay," Britta says. "So they're-"

"Not at all sick of each other," Abed points out, unnecessarily.

Britta stares at them as they find a booth and squeeze into it, tossing their things onto one side and sitting together on the other. "Wait a minute, was he-"

"Carrying Annie's backpack for her, yep. I TOLD you he was a kept man," Pierce grumbles.

Shirley states the obvious. "They didn't even look for us."

"Okay, so I REALLY-"

"Britta'd this one. Yes, you did," Troy says with a sigh.

Britta crosses her arms in a huff. "Well, gee guys, I'm sorry I insisted on my terrible idea instead of all of your brilliant ones. Oh no wait, that's right, you guys didn't have any!" she snaps defensively. "At least I didn't make things any worse!"

- — - — -

If by "not making things worse" Britta means that her plan COMPETELY backfired, then yes, she's right. Because now instead of simply being next to each other, Jeff and Annie are in constant physical contact. And now when Jeff whispers things into her ear, not only does Annie giggle, but she blushes sometimes too. And after five more days of being subjected to them acting like they're the only two people in the world (and after the third time they showed up late for a group meeting looking slightly disheveled and out of breath), Abed, Shirley and Troy are seriously considering a plan from Pierce.

"Pierce, Britta! We're seriously considering a plan from PIERCE," Troy tells her as she joins them in the group room, making sure she understands the gravity of the situation.

"Hey, it's a solid plan!" Pierce protests. "It'll work."

Britta sighs, resting her hands on the table, and then her head on her hands. "I have a feeling I'll regret this, but what's your plan, Pierce?"

"We just need Annie to see Jeff in his element," Pierce says mysteriously. "I'm going to insist that everyone come out tonight to celebrate Hawthorne Wipes' lastest acquisition, and there will happen to be a number of extremely attractive young women there who will... find Jeffrey to be very interesting."

Britta doesn't lift her head. "You're going to pay prostitutes to hit on Jeff."

"You're not even listening!" Pierce accuses with indignation. "And they're escorts, show some respect."

"Uuugggghhhh," Britta groans, sitting back and slumping down in her chair. "Are we seriously considering this? SHIRLEY, you're okay with this plan?"

Shirley shrugs. "Jeffrey is pretty notorious for flirting, and it was bound to happen that they'd be around other women at some point. If he can't stop himself from acting inappropriately, then it's better Annie finds out sooner instead of later," she rationalizes.

Britta looks to Troy and Abed, but she can tell they both feel the same way: it's worth a shot. Being out-numbered four to one, Britta has no choice but to resignedly agree.

Pierce reserves the private area of one of Greendale's only clubs for them, and successfully convinces Jeff and Annie to come. (He insists that this acquisition is extremely important for his business, but that if he reveals any details, he'll end up with his tongue removed. Pierce is just crazy enough that they concede without asking questions.)

At the club, Britta has to hand it to Pierce, the women he invited are gorgeous. And numerous. Troy and Abed are tasked with getting Annie away from Jeff, which is a lot easier said than done. Especially since they keep getting... distracted. Eventually Troy has to pretend to cry and pour his heart out to her about a problem he's not having with a girl who doesn't exist, but it works. While Annie is comforting Troy on one side of the room, a beautiful, scantily-dressed, redheaded pros... escort approaches Jeff on the other.

Britta tries to look nonchalant while also signalling Shirley, Pierce, and Abed to check out what happens. Pierce texts her that the woman is named Heather, and that she's "one of the favorites". Britta doesn't ask him to clarify that. Heather introduces herself, and Jeff smiles at her, quickly and easily becoming engaged in a conversation. Britta watches them conspicuously, a little bit surprised to see Jeff flashing his charming smile and genuinely looking interested in her. Maybe Pierce was actually right.

It's a terrifying thought.

After a few minutes, Jeff is completely involved in whatever they're talking about, and Heather is laughing and touching his arm. Britta catches Abed's eye and gestures toward Troy; it's time for Annie to see this. Abed nods, then texts Troy. He discreetly checks his phone and then instantly stops crying, making a miraculous spontaneous recovery. He thanks Annie and jumps out of his seat, revealing the sight of her boyfriend flirting with a redhead in a tight dress.

It has the desired effect: Annie narrows her eyes and crosses the room toward them, and for a split second they all think they're about to witness The First Fight. But then Jeff sees Annie over Heather's shoulder, and points her out, a broad smile on his face. Britta's mouth hangs open in astonishment as Jeff introduces Annie to Heather, and Heather responds with warmth and obvious recognition.

But Britta has to know for sure. As soon as she gets a chance, she gathers with Shirley, Troy, and Abed, and gets Pierce to bring over the redhead.

"Oh, he spent the entire time telling me about his girlfriend," Heather informs them with a laugh. "Sorry, Pierce, I tried. But that man is completely in love."

Pierce makes a face as she walks away to mingle with the other... escorts. "More like completely in the closet," he says. "He didn't even so much as check her out, what kind of straight man does that?"

"A straight man who's completely in love," Abed replies, nodding to the other side of the room.

They all turn to Jeff, who's now settled onto a big leather chair, with Annie in his lap. He's surrounded by a sea of beautiful women, but clearly only sees the one who's right in front of him.

"Well, I'm out of ideas," Pierce unhelpfully informs them. "Anyone else got one?"

- — - — -

It's not until Monday of the following week that anybody does. The five discarded members of the group have gathered in the study room at the end of the day, and Troy is about ready to explode if he has to listen to Annie giggle anymore.

"Also," Abed tells Britta, Shirley, and Pierce, "I assume they're trying to be quiet, but there's been a few times that we've definitely heard them-"

"NO!" Troy shouts. "That's NEVER happened! I have NO IDEA what you're talking about!"

Abed looks at him curiously. "Having sex," he finishes.

"NOOOO!" Troy throws his hands over his ears and shuts his eyes tight. "Speak for yourself, I've NEVER heard ANYTHING!"

"But what about the time they disappeared to the bathroom for-"

"Abed!" Britta interrupts gently. "Troy doesn't want to talk about it."

"Oh. Well I was just going to say that Troy finds it rather upsetting."

"Yes, I can see that, but we still don't have a plan."

Abed raises a finger. "Troy does."

But Troy still has his hands over his ears, and is drowning them out by loudly humming the _Inspector Spacetime _theme. Britta throws a pencil at him, and he stops humming, cautiously opening one eye. "Is he done?"

"Yes," Britta assures him. "You have a plan?"

"Oh, right! Yeah. See, I think Pierce had this backwards. He was trying to make Annie jealous of Jeff. But JEFF is the one who's always acted jealous. I mean, think about it: Vaughn, Rich from pottery class, that weird black rider guy... What we need is for Jeff to see Annie around some guy, get all jealous, and then Annie will get mad that he doesn't trust her."

Britta raises her eyebrows. "That's actually... a really good idea."

"You don't have to sound so surprised."

"I'm not! I just can't believe we didn't think of that sooner."

Shirley frowns. "But where are we going to find some guy to hang around Annie? You all better not be thinking of going with prostitutes again."

"Escorts!" Pierce corrects her.

"Oh, I've already thought of that," Troy says, tenting his fingers like a movie villain who's revealing his big scheme. "There's a guy on the football team who's looking for a tutor."

"Is he good-looking?" Britta asks.

Troy snaps at Abed, who opens his laptop and pulls up a still photo he captured from his video yearbook. "Steve Bailey," he introduces, turning the screen so everyone can see.

Steve Bailey is definitely good-looking. He's probably a bit shorter than Jeff, but he's quite clearly a football player, and built like one. He's got huge shoulders, a chiseled jaw, and a dazzling smile. Britta is impressed. "He's perfect."

"Yeah, you can say that again," Shirley agrees, pulling the screen back in her direction.

Troy does his high five with Abed. "All right, Operation: Make Jeff Jealous So It Pisses Off Annie is underway."

Britta rolls her eyes at him.

"Don't judge, we didn't have time to think of a good title."

- — - — -

Two days later, Britta, Troy, Abed, Shirley, and Pierce are hiding behind a bookshelf in the library, probably not very well. They're peeking through the books at Annie, who's set up at a small table a little ways away. Close enough to be in ear shot, but hopefully far enough away to remain unseen. Annie's in full study mode, with color-coded lists and notes and schedules fanned out. Steve Bailey is sitting next to her, and looks even bigger in person than he did in the photo.

They're waiting anxiously for Jeff's arrival; the mere proximity of Annie to this handsome, rugged, giant football player is SURELY enough to cause a reaction.

Britta gasps and grabs Troy's arm. "There he is!"

They watch, collectively holding their breath. Jeff enters the library and sees Annie, frowning slightly as he approaches them. Britta grips Troy's arm tighter. This is it. This is totally it.

But as soon as Annie notices him, she excitedly jumps out of her chair, throws her arms around his neck, and kisses him hello. He kisses her back, and they get caught up in it for a second before pulling away. Steve gets up and extends a hand. "You must be Jeff," he says with a smile.

"Steve, right?" Jeff asks, but he's smiling too as he shakes Steve's hand.

He's SMILING.

"How goes physics?"

He's being POLITE.

Steve shrugs. "Well, it kinda sucks, but your girlfriend here is an awesome teacher. And like... scarily organized."

Jeff smiles. "Stick to the color-code, it helps. Trust me." Then he turns to Annie and takes her hands. "I just came by to say hi, Ted called and asked me to come in."

Annie exaggerates a pout, sticking out her bottom lip. Jeff lets go of one hand in a flash and reaches up to grab it, causing Annie to laugh and then clamp her mouth shut.

"Dammit! One of these days..." Jeff threatens playfully.

She shakes her head, her lips still held tightly together.

He kisses the top of her head. "I'll hopefully be done by dinner, but I'll text you, okay?"

"Okay," Annie says, deciding it's safe to open her mouth. She looks up at him and smiles. "I love you."

Jeff smiles back, that specific smile he only reserves for her. "I love you too." He kisses her gently on the lips before turning to Steve. "It was nice to meet you," he says. He even sounds like he means it.

And then he leaves.

Britta, Troy, Abed, Shirley, and Pierce are dumbstruck. They look to one another in shock, none of them able to process what the hell just happened.

Finally, Pierce can't take it anymore. "That's IT?"

Everyone shushes him (not just the group, but practically everyone in the library), and panic grips Britta when she sees Annie lift her head and look in their direction.

Luckily, Annie's a dedicated tutor, and doesn't want to waste the time figuring out whether that was Pierce she just heard.

- — - — -

The next day, Shirley is having a really hard time biting her tongue. She understands, now, that they're in love, but good Lord, do they have to show it so much? The way Annie's always cuddled up into his side, or in his lap... they can't seem keep their hands to themselves. Jeff plays with Annie's hair, Annie scratches the back of his head. They're like... chimps, grooming each other.

And KISSING. There's far too much kissing. She's caught them a few times now, and she's just about had enough.

So when she, Troy, Abed, Pierce, and Britta are asked by the dean to help him get some things from the storage closet, Shirley can't keep her reaction in check.

The dean opens the door, and although it's pretty dark, it's IMPOSSIBLE to mistake the sight of Annie, sitting on a desk with her skirt hiked up to her thighs, her legs wrapped tightly around Jeff's waist. The top few buttons of Jeff's shirt are already undone, and Annie's blouse is untucked. Oh, and they're passionately making out.

"That is ENOUGH!" Shirley yells.

There's a clattering sound as Annie and Jeff tear apart and scramble to compose themselves. They hadn't even noticed the door open. "What are you guys doing here?" Jeff asks, trying to sound nonchalant, but he's COMPLETELY out of breath.

Shirley flicks on the lights and glares at them, as everyone else takes a step back. "Never mind what WE'RE doing here, what on God's good green earth do YOU TWO think you're doing in here?"

Annie crosses her arms. "I really don't think that's any of your business," she says calmly.

"I wish it wasn't my business, but you two are MAKING it my business!"

Annie takes a step toward Shirley, apparently not intimidated by the appearance of her scary face (Jeff, on the other hand, stays back). "Excuse me, but we're in a closed room."

Shirley scoffs are her. "Right now you are, but it's a closed room in a public school, Annie! And there's been plenty of times when we've all been subjected to your... disgraceful displays of lust of sin!"

"Dis_grace_ful?" Annie repeats.

"Yes!" Shirley shouts. She's incredibly angry. She was never really okay with the idea of this relationship in the first place, and having spent the last three weeks having it shoved in her face, she's reached her breaking point. "I expected so much more from you, Annie!" She's so angry, in fact, that she makes a mistake. "What would your parents think if they saw you like this?"

The silence is deafening.

And the change in Annie's face is almost imperceptible. It's so small that the dean misses it, although it's easily caught by everyone else, especially Shirley.

"Oh, An-nie, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean-"

But Annie simply walks out of the room. She doesn't cry, or say anything, or even so much as look at Shirley, she just leaves. This earns Shirley a scorching look from Jeff before he goes after her. (The irony of JEFF giving SHIRLEY a reproachful glare is not lost on anyone.)

Shirley feels absolutely awful about what she said. She spends the rest of the day fretting about it, and ends up going home early and baking a big pan of brownies. She brings it over to Jeff's later that evening to apologize, and Annie, being Annie, forgives her. They actually end up having a pretty good talk.

Jeff and Annie even promise to tone down the public displays of affection, and manage to stay mostly true to their word.

...But only when they know Shirley is watching.

- — - — -

It's Friday again, and everyone has joined in the student lounge to commiserate, and concede defeat. They last saw Annie an hour ago, piggybacking on Jeff across campus. It's been three weeks, and they're showing no signs of growing tired of each other's company.

"I guess we're just going to have to accept that this is who they are now," Britta says.

Nobody likes the prospect of a permanently cutesy Jeff and Annie, but it's looking grim.

Abed looks at his friends, and decides it's time for him to offer up his last, and only, suggestion. "There's one more thing that might work."

Everyone looks at him expectantly.

"It's February 3rd. Valentine's day is just over a week away. Knowing that Jeff isn't big on romance, we could manipulate both of their expectations to set them up for disappointment. That would likely cause a fight."

Nobody says anything for a minute while they think about it.

Britta responds first, taking the burden off anyone else having to say what she knows they're all thinking. "It's worth a shot. But if this doesn't work, I say we give up."

Troy, Shirley, and Pierce nod in agreement.

Abed explains what they're going to do: the girls will raise Annie's expectations (telling her that Jeff has something perfect planned), while the boys lower Jeff's (saying that Annie secretly hates Valentine's day, and she doesn't want him to make a big deal of it). For good measure, they should also do the opposite: convince Jeff that Annie has something special planned, while telling Annie that Jeff thinks Valentine's Day isn't about the guy, and that he expects nothing from her.

They're all in on it, and work on casually slipping comments into conversation over the next week. They have to tell Pierce what to say word-for-word so he doesn't wreck it, but otherwise it goes pretty smoothly.

It occurs to each of them, at some point, that intentionally starting a fight between their friends on Valentine's Day isn't the nicest thing to do. But every time they see Annie and Jeff together, it helps strengthen their resolve. They have to get things back to some semblance of normal.

It's their last shot, and they're going to make it a good one.

- — - — -

On Tuesday, February 14th, at 7:00pm, the group is waiting for Jeff in the study room. They're dressed up for the dance that night, each nervously fidgeting in one way or another. JEFF had asked THEM to meet, actually, because he wanted to get their opinion on the gift he bought Annie (she's busy helping the dean string up the last few red decorations).

The group is a little worried that he got her a present at all, although they have to admit that lowering his expectations enough for him to buy her NOTHING was probably a little ambitious.

Jeff arrives soon, smiling, holding a purple gift bag. "Okay," he says, setting it on the table. He looks up at them curiously. "Why do you guys look nervous?"

"We're not!" Britta lies, badly.

"Ohhhhkay," Jeff says suspiciously. But he's got other things on his mind, so he doesn't worry about it. "I'm not exactly a big romantic, so I need you guys to reassure me that this is an acceptable present."

He pulls out two packages, each loosely wrapped in pink tissue paper, and carefully extracts them.

"Did you buy pink tissue paper?" Britta asks him.

"Yes. Shut up."

He hands one of the presents to Britta. It's a beautiful, expensive-looking, ballpoint pen. No, sorry, a ballpoint PURPLE pen. She sighs and passes it down to the others. "Give me the other one," she instructs Jeff, holding out her hand.

Jeff looks nervous himself now, but wordlessly gives it to her.

It's a heavy book, bound in leather. It's also quite beautifully designed, with an ornate pattern that looks like it's been carved right into it. Britta turns in over in her hands, tracing the decoration.

Then she sees what book it is: Jane Austen's _Emma._

"Oh, goddamn it!" she yells.

Jeff takes the book back in alarm. "What? Is it terrible?"

"No! It's freaking PERFECT, you asshole, you're going to make her cry!"

"I- it's- what? It's perfect?" he asks, confused, looking to the others for confirmation.

Everyone nods.

"Okay, then why exactly am I an asshole?"

Britta groans in frustration, and she can't help it: she spills the beans. "Because you guys are driving us crazy!"

Jeff stares at her. "How are we driving you crazy?"

"Oh my GOD, have you guys even seen yourselves? You two are the sappiest, most sickeningly adorable couple in the history of the world."

Jeff rolls his eyes at her as he carefully rewraps the presents. "I'm sure THAT'S not overstating it."

"No, she's right," Troy says, coming to Britta's defense. "If there was a cuteness contest between you guys and the video of that little baby panda sneezing and startling his momma panda, you guys would win. And everyone would hate you, because nothing should be cuter than that."

The realization dawns on Jeff that they're serious. "We're not THAT bad, are we?"

Everyone nods vigorously.

"Yes, you guys really are," Britta insists. "And how the hell did you go from being a selfish womanizer to being the perfect boyfriend, anyway? You haven't acted remotely like a couple with any of the other scores of women you've been with."

Jeff purses his lips. "Well, up until now, none of the multitudes of women I've been with have made me WANT to act like a couple."

Britta raises her eyebrows. "Wow. You just managed to explain yourself, brag, insult me, and compliment Annie all at once. I don't even KNOW what to call that."

"I seriously think you guys are overreacting."

"We've been trying to start a fight between you guys for the past month," Abed informs him, matter-of-factly.

Jeff looks at Abed for a minute. Then, suddenly, his entire demeanor changes. He smirks. "Oh yeah, we know."

Britta narrows her eyes at him. "What do you mean, you KNOW?"

"We know what you guys have been up to. Why do you think we've been acting like this?"

They stare at him for a second while it sinks in.

"So..." Troy says slowly. "This... all the cuddling, and the hand-holding, and the... other things we're not going to talk about that never happened... it's all been an act?"

Jeff pulls out his phone and texts Annie. "A fun one, at that."

Nobody has a reply, but they're all visibly relieved.

"Plus, you guys realize that we've had like three fights already, right?" Jeff asks them, still smirking.

"Really?" Shirley asks. "About what?"

He shrugs. "I don't know, I said something stupid, Annie overreacted, the usual stuff. We've been friends for over three years already, we're not exactly starting from scratch here. And we certainly don't need you guys butting in."

"I..." Britta starts, but trails off. "I'm sorry, Jeff. We're sorry. I don't know what to say."

"It's fine," he assures her with a bit of a laugh. "No harm done." He turns to see Annie on the other side of the glass and picks up the present to go meet her.

The group watches as she greets him with a hug, and he picks her up to hug her even tighter. Then he puts her down, and hands her the purple bag. They watch as she opens it, and then as she unwraps each gift, and then as the tears brim in her eyes when she opens the front of the book. (What they don't see is what Jeff inscribed: _Happy first Valentine's, Milady)._ They see the delight on Jeff's face - how ridiculously happy he is to make her happy - and can't help but look past the cuteness to see that... holy crap, their friends really are in love. Jeff leans down to kiss her, and they simply turn away.

They look at each other instead, and can tell that they're all thinking the same thing.

Maybe... JUST maybe... this version of Jeff an Annie isn't so bad after all.

And MAYBE... they can live with it.

- — - — -

**Epilogue**

A few hours later, Jeff and Annie are dancing in the gym, and he's relaying for her what happened in the study room.

"Huh," she says, leaning in to rest her head on his chest. Jeff moves his hands down the small of her back, and she can't help but close her eyes. "Well that would explain all those random comments they've been making about Valentine's Day. I guess they were really trying to get my hopes up."

"Yeah, meanwhile, they're trying to tell ME you didn't expect anything."

Annie laughs. "Well, luckily for me, I have the best boyfriend ever, and he got me the perfect present."

Jeff smiles and kisses her on the top of the head. He's not much a romantic, really, but with Annie, it seems to take no work at all.

"That was a nice save, too, by the way," Annie compliments him. "Telling them that we knew what they were doing..."

"Yeah, thanks. I honestly didn't think we were being that annoying!"

"I know, me neither!"

"I guess we'll have to tone it down a bit."

Annie sighs. "I guess."

They dance in silence for a minute, swaying gently to the music.

"Hey, they told me to expect a big present from you too," Jeff teases. "If you don't have one for me, they might be successful in starting a fight."

Annie grins up at him wickedly. "Oh, don't worry, there's a present. But you can't have it until later." Then she glances around, but they're pretty secluded where they are, so she boldly pulls up the hem of her dress just enough to reveal the garter strap she has attached to her thigh-highs.

Jeff's eyes widen, and he swallows hard. "So, umm... wanna get out of here?"

She giggles as the song ends, and steps back so she can curtsy. "I would love to, Milord."

He smiles at her, and then sweeps her off her feet and into his arms again.

"Jeff!" Annie laughs. "This is NOT toning it down."

"That's true. But I don't care what they think. I really only care what you think."

Annie sighs happily and tucks her head into his neck. For once, she doesn't care what anyone else thinks, either. "Well, I hate to say it, but I think... we owe Alan a huge thank you."


End file.
